Ten (10) Tips for Caregivers and Seniors to Combat Loneliness and Isolation Over the Holidays (and Beyond…)

By Gretchen Curry, MSPH | November 26, 2024 | Comments Off on Ten (10) Tips for Caregivers and Seniors to Combat Loneliness and Isolation Over the Holidays (and Beyond…)

Ten (10) Tips for Caregivers and Seniors to Combat Loneliness and Isolation Over the Holidays (and Beyond…)

  1. Maintain current connections with friends and family. Make the effort to stay connected to those already in your life. If possible, call friends and schedule coffee or lunch. Pick up the phone and call one person per day for a short conversation. Who haven’t you talked to for a while? This week I intentionally reached out to several friends. One I had not talked to for 3-4 years. She was thrilled to hear from me, and we ended the conversation with a verbal commitment to get together after the holidays.
  1. Be open to and make new connections and friends. If you live in a senior community, look for opportunities to get to know others in your community. In your neighborhood, is there a neighbor who you have not seen lately out walking their dog or out in their yard doing work? Can you take the neighbor a tray of holiday cookies? If you attend religious services on a regular basis, seek out the opportunity to get to know others better outside of services where you have shared friendly chit-chat. One Christmas holiday, I waited until the 23rd of Christmas to purchase a tree! At my favorite lot, there was an older woman also looking for a tree. The staff was not present, and we helped each other select trees and mounted them on both of our cars.  It was cold and hilarious! (We then left a donation as written instructions directed us to do so.) This encounter started a friendship that lasted until she passed several years later. She invited me to her house for dinner and we got together several other times.
  1. Establish a weekly and monthly social activity calendar. Sometimes we do not participate in activities simply because we have not planned ahead to do so. We did not select clean clothes to wear. We did not arrange for transportation. I also strongly recommend you join a social or special interest group or club. Those organizations tend to have planned activities year-round, including holiday celebrations.
  1. Take advantage of the availability of the abundance of online social, educational, and fitness activities. The pandemic increased our access to online activities. This availability has continued beyond the pandemic. Join an online presentation offered by your local library or historical society. Participate in an online chair yoga class offered by AARP, Silver Sneakers, or your local Y. Participate in an online book club.  Better yet, start an online book club with a half dozen friends! I did! Not every opportunity to socialize requires you to get dressed, brush your teeth (yes, I said that), get in your car, and drive to another location!
  1. Address any feelings of grief you are experiencing. Feelings of grief may intensify during the holidays. Most older persons have experienced the loss of family members and friends via death, limiting health care issues, or a move from the area. Any of these reasons would cause one to experience the loss of a relationship. Seek out support. Consider attending a grief support group. Or reach out to a therapist to discuss your feelings of grief. Most Medicare plans offer some coverage for mental health counseling.
  1. Tap into your sources of joy. Is that music, art, reading, dance, or faith? Do you enjoy music? Play music at home. Go to a live music performance. Do you enjoy art? Do you like to create art? Join an art class at the local community college. Go to the local art museum on their free day to enjoy an exhibit. Is it reading? Join a book club at your local library. Is it dance? Attend a dance performance of your favorite style of dance. Is that ballet, modern, tap, or jazz? One of my favorite songs is, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack. I hope we all keep dancing and tapping into our sources of joy!
  1. If they exist, address transportation obstacles. Don’t allow a lack of personal transportation to prevent you from socializing. If you no longer own a car or no longer drive, seek out sources of transportation, to minimize isolation. Does your religious organization offer transportation to and from services? Can you seek a ride with a friend who is planning on attending the same event? Can you catch a taxi, Uber, or Lyft? I recently invited a senior friend to a live music show. She owned a car, but I did not realize she no longer drove at night. She lived 38 miles from the venue. She had never used an Uber but arranged a safe ride to and from the event via Uber. Her son lent his assistance in showing her how to use the Uber app. (Her son does not live in the area, but was thrilled his mother was going out with friends.) Writing this blog reminded me that I had not talked to her, so I stopped writing and called her! I am following my own advice to stay connected to friends.
  1. Invite others to your home over the holidays. This could be for dinner on a holiday or just sometime during the holiday season. It does not have to be for dinner, it could be for snacks and appetizers. Ask them to bring a dish, dessert or a snack to lighten up your load. If you fret about your home being ready for guests, pay someone to clean your house before you have guests. You benefit from the peace that comes with having a clean house and from feeling more prepared to have guests in your home.
  1. Invite yourself to someone’s home for a holiday dinner. Yes, you read that correctly. Invite yourself to someone’s home for a holiday dinner. Several years ago, after my mother had passed and my dad was still alive, I had planned a small Christmas dinner with my dad and my adult daughter. We had traveled out of town the month before and had a large Thanksgiving celebration at my sister’s home, 25-30 people. Christmas was going to be small and simple. An elderly friend (in her 80’s) and her husband lived nearby and inquired about my plans for Christmas, and I shared them with her. I had dined at her home for dinner and she and I lunched together on a quarterly basis at the nearby Norstrom’s restaurant.  (I also enjoyed their lobster bisque and bread pudding!) She enthusiastically stated she and her husband would love to join us for Christmas dinner if they would not be imposing. I replied without missing a beat, that I would love to have them join us. They did and we had a wonderful Christmas dinner. I never would have thought to invite them although I knew they did not have family in town.  I was happy to be able offer holiday joy to someone else for the holiday. I will say, you must have a pretty good read on your relationship with the person you are going to ask can you join their holiday celebration-LOL!
  1. And finally practice gratitude! An attitude of gratitude helps one not ruminate on what they do not have or what they are missing. Let’s all be grateful for what we have. A person who has an attitude of gratitude is also a more pleasant companion. A person who has an attitude of gratitude receives more social invitations.

Is Your Sorrow Disabling? It May Be Prolonged Grief

https://my.aarpfoundation.org/article/affordable-transportation/

Chair Yoga for Seniors Invigorating Total Body Yoga | SilverSneakers

Gretchen Curry, MSPH
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